Dear Mom and Dad,
This is what happiness looks like. Sorry you were so miserable in your own lives that you couldn’t allow me a chance at my own. I went out and found it anyway. I miss you, and will miss you even more this holiday season since you won’t allow me to come back home unless I have a woman on my arm. Oh by the way, we’ll still be using the family recipe for the stuffing, I’m sure it’ll be a hit with our friends.
Your son, his boyfriend, and our spoiled cat
this deserves a million notes omfg
‘Going to bed’ means switching from my computer to my phone and spending another hour mobile blogging in the dark
there are over 6 billion people on this world and I seem to only be devoured in the thought of everlasting love with you.
BOOBS ARE LITERALLY LUMPS WITH SMALLER LUMPS ON TOP WHAT IS SO SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE ABOUT A LUMP!!!!
What is sexually attractive about any human body part really? Penises are just tubes with lumps connected to them. Asses are also just lumps. Your face is just a collection of different types of lumps and there’s a hole on it. Everything is just a lump. I can’t get off to this. Now, a rhombus, that’s something I could fuck the shit out of.
you know that quiet girl in class?
yeah she goes home and makes fun of you all on tumblr
it’s weird how british people say “lift” instead of “elevator” and how my dad says “you are a dissappointment” instead of “i love you”
Can we all take a moment to appreciate the beauty of trail cam deer